More moms than ever are admitting that they actually their decision to have kids. If your a mom, you know it's not an easy job. Pregnancy alone takes a massive toll on our bodies, and then the daily work of raising children takes a toll on our emotional well-being and our mental health. Motherhood comes with ceaseless exhaustion, constant pressure to be perfect, and the relentless stress of being responsible for every meal, every diaper change, every feeding, and every mess. It's a lot of work. But is that work difficult enough to make us wish we'd never had children? More and more women are saying the do regret that decision, according to a BBC report.
"If I could turn the clock back I would not have had children," one mom, identified as Rachel, told the publication. "... If you're really maternal then that's great you've got everything you've wanted, but when you're not maternal all you've done is trap yourself."
BBC spoke to three anonymous moms for the report, each of whom said that even though they love their kids, they wouldn't have chosen to have children if they truly knew what it'd be like. Allison, a mom of two college-aged boys, told BBC she dreamed of having the stereotypical happy family, but the stress of raising her sons was unlike anything she expected. "Everybody else's needs and wants came first. The mantra for the last two decades has been 'if everybody else is happy then I'm happy,' which is a bit galling sometimes," she said. "I could have had a better career. I did the school run for 15 years, that is very limiting on a career."
Rachel told BBC that she knows her feelings are taboo, but she simply can't help it. "You feel like you've not been a good mum and it's a guilt you always carry, it never goes away and you wonder if they know," she explained. "But life shouldn't be about giving up your life, your freedom, so they can have a life."
A Facebook page called I Regret Having Children shares anonymous confessions from parents who wish they'd thought more about having kids. , The Guardian published a controversial piece in which almost a dozen moms admitted to wishing they didn't become parents. Vice and Marie Claire also tackled the topic of child regret in 2016 s
The reasons were different for each woman. There was resentment for the work it takes to raise a child and some feel they're being forced to put their own lives and happiness on hold. The "I Regret Having Children" Facebook page, women post about regretting having kids at a young age, feeling pressured to have kids they didn't want by demanding partners or their own parents, and feeling resentful after becoming a single parent, when the relationship didn't work out.