Holidays can be challenging after losing a parent, especially Mother’s Day if you’ve lost your mom. Author Rebecca Soffer knows that anxious feeling all too well after the death of both of her parents when she was in her early 30s. Having “been there” herself, she’s written a new book, “The Modern Loss Handbook,” as a guide to the grieving process that offers advice and humor.
Soffer shares coping tips for anyone struggling with Mother’s Day:
- Find a “grief buddy” - Lean on a friend, either in person or online, who’s also experienced the death of a parent. Being able to talk about your feelings with someone who really gets it can make them easier to deal with.
- Know that grief isn’t linear - “One thing about loss is that you have no idea when the waves of grief will come,” Soffer explains. To help get through “grief milestones” like birthdays and Mother’s Day, she suggests fulfilling one of your mom’s goals, making her favorite meal or buying her a gift that you can keep or pay forward to someone else.
- Consider grief therapy - There’s nothing “wrong” with you for grieving the loss of your parent. As she explains, “When someone meaningful dies, it impacts everything.” And talking to a therapist can help you work through those emotions.
- Be patient with yourself - With holidays like Mother’s Day, Soffer says “everything is off the table.” That’s because we never know how it will affect us. Having a plan is nice, but Soffer suggests “giving yourself permission to forgo it.”