What in crustacean is Home Depot selling on its website?
Online shoppers have plenty of jokes for the Giant King Crab Statue, which currently retails on the home improvement site for $1,539.
The 6-foot-wide red sea creature — complete with pinchers, claws and nested legs — is cast in resin, then reinforced with fiberglass and hand-painted to steam up any pond, bar, or pool, according to the product’s description.
“We provide everything but the butter,” the description jokes, noting the fixture “transforms any home, garden, restaurant or hotel into something truly magnificent.”
Be clawful not to pull a mussel lifting this thing — it weighs 89 pounds.
The King Crab has 34 snark-filled reviews on Home Depot’s website.
“I was feeling really down and decided to take a trip to my local home depot in the hopes of turning my frown upside down,” a shopper wrote. “I thought all hope was lost until I turned the corner and locked eyes with this beauty. I swear a light beamed down from the sky, and angels sang on high. My life was changed.”
Commented another, “If you need a good designated driver, a reliable companion/wingman, or a therapist, this right claw man always has your back. And if you ever find yourself stranded on an island, the Colossal Crustacean Grand Scale Giant King Crab is the perfect way for you to signal SOS due to his unbound charisma that extends to God himself.”
“Being a single 37-year-old woman realizing I’ll never get married, means I needed something to fill the void in my life,” another shared.
“This definitely fills the gaping hole. He’s my emotional support crab. Just takes up space, doesn’t move unless I pick him up and move him myself. But boy he is pretty. Exactly how I imagine any man to be,” they continued.
Comments also took a raunchy turn.
“WARNING do not, I repeat, DO NOT place any sensitive body parts between the claws and then apply pressure, no matter how much vaseline is applied beforehand,” one joked. “There really should be a warning label about this problem.”
Some jesters reported that the statue doesn’t taste very good even with butter, while others thanked Home Depot for bringing crabs back into their bedrooms.
“My wife went on a girls’ retreat with her old sorority sisters and texted me that she caught crabs. I had no idea she was into crabbing,” another wrote. “Since I love her so much, I bought her this from Home Depot as a surprise for when she gets home. Can’t wait to see her reaction, and I can’t wait to get acquainted with her crabs myself!”
Twitter users have been talking about the statue since 2021, and it appears that the crab was even a victim of inflation as screenshots from last year show the product price tag as $1063.21.
“Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your 15.5 in. H Colossal Crustacean Grand Scale Giant King Crab Statue from Home Depot today,” another user laughed.
“Girls don’t want boys, girls want the 6-foot-long colossal crustacean giant king crab statue from home depot,” one user captioned the photo of a girl petting the crustacean.
The Post has reached out to Home Depot for comment on the product’s viral popularity.