What do you say to your kid when they’re trying to get your attention to ask for goldfish crackers while you’re chasing after the dog who just ran out the door, or when they see you’re elbow-deep in cooking dinner and they ask you to drive them to the library? You may have wanted to shout, “Read the room!” whether you actually did or not. The thing is, kids - and plenty of adults - aren’t great with situational awareness, or the ability to clock the vibe.
When it happens, a parent may respond by yelling, “Can’t you see that I’m busy?” or “Please look at what I’m doing and ask yourself if your request is necessary at this very moment.” And while that solves the immediate issue, it doesn’t help kids long-term. But kids need to learn situational awareness so they can be empathetic and patient, and so they don’t drive you crazy with poorly timed interruptions.
Teaching a kid to read the room may sound impossible, but it involves a lot of parenting stuff you’re probably already doing:
- Teach them what an emergency is and to only interrupt if an actual emergency is happening.
- Remind them about their senses and have them point out what they can see and hear. Based on that, ask them to decide if now is an appropriate time to ask for something.
- Instead of telling them what to do, ask them if they notice something around them being an issue. When you see they’re about to spill their cereal, try not to say, “You’re about to knock that bowl over, can you please move it?” And give them a chance to use situational awareness and come up with a strategy.
- Offer an arm hold or elbow tap to acknowledge that you know they need you. Then they’ll feel better knowing they’ve asked for what they need and that you’ll do it when you can.
- Remind them that it’s important to “observe” before talking. This includes looking around the room to see what’s there before announcing what they need or want.
- Be patient with them, it will take time for them to get it, but they will eventually. Just try not to yell, “DUDE, are you serious right now?” until that day comes.
Source: Scary Mommy