Dating is complicated and going out with someone new can be awkward, as you don’t want to talk about yourself too much or not reveal enough to make your date see how great you are and ask you out again. And now dating experts are giving us one more thing to worry about by revealing a toxic trend to be aware of in the world of dating. It’s known as “floodlighting” and if someone’s ever poured their heart out to you on a first date, you may have experienced it yourself.
“Floodlighting in dating is about using vulnerability as a high-intensity spotlight,” explains Jessica Alderson, co-founder of the dating app So Synced. “It involves sharing a lot of personal details all at once — to test the waters, speed up intimacy, or see if the other person can ‘handle’ these parts of you.”
It can include the person pouring their heart out in the early days of dating about everything from their previous relationship drama to childhood trauma, all in an effort to rush an intense emotional connection. But unlike just being vulnerable, floodlighting is a manipulative tactic used to force a bond. It’s like trauma dumping with a purpose and Alderson warns that “it can be emotionally taxing to handle such intense disclosures and feelings in a short amount of time.”
Source: Vice